Doing Church Well - Part Three

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34,35 ESV)

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The hard thing about doing church is that it is a group activity. From the time of the desert monks it was seen by many people that it was easier to at least feel holy if you did not have to interact with other people. It is easy to love human kind and not be able to stand people.

It is in that dynamic fellowship of different personalities, cultures, genders, philosophies, options, tastes, outlooks, and experiences that we are tested to have healthy, caring, compassionate, honest, encouraging, and challenging relationships. This is what makes up the fellowship of the church. A group of diverse strangers striving to live as the family of Messiah Jesus.

The only thing we have in common is our Messiah Jesus. That connection to Him is suppose to be enough to allow us to connect to each other in caring, compassionate, gentle, and healthy ways so that we can help, encourage, and nurture each other towards becoming more like Messiah Jesus and doing His will on earth together. Being "in Messiah Jesus" is to make us united and one.

Any reading of the New Testament points out how hard this was. The Jews did not respect the Gentiles. The Gentiles could hate the Jews. Women were seen as inferior to men in the Roman empire and women could want to disrespect men in the new freedom offered in Christ. Rich Christians could fear that the poor Christians were trying to take advantage of their relationship with Christ and the poor Christians could judge the rich Christians as lacking in compassion when they did not respond to their needs.

The Apostles themselves struggled to find a practical answer on how to overcome the culture wars between Jew and Gentile in the church (see Acts 15). At the very least many of the followers of James and Paul saw the two men having different solutions to the "Gentile problem." Paul will have friends and co-workers such as Hymeneus and Alexander (1Ti_1:19, 1Ti_1:20) and Demas (2Ti_4:10) who will have their faith ship wrecked. Peter and Paul will have conflict as well because Peter will act in a hypocritical manner. (Gal 2).

Christians in the New Testament struggled with still practicing sexual sins, gossip, self righteous judgement, taking each other to court, splitting up into cliques, forming personality cults, bringing pagan ideas into the church, forsaking sound doctrine, getting involved in strange views of prophecy, misuse of spiritual gifts, rebellion against leadership, and leaders abusing those who followed. These problems which are all recorded in the New Testament we see continue after the age of the Apostles and repeated all during church history. The continued moral brokenness of Christians manifest itself in the practical fellowship of believers making it hard to show love for each other.

The Messiah Jesus actually makes success in loving each other the mark by which the unbelieving world is suppose to be able to tell if people are disciples of the Messiah. When the world sees sacrificial love within a fellowship of people who claim to follow Messiah Jesus then they can know they have found the "real"thing. Messiah Jesus makes real love the way people can know the genuine disciples from those who only claim discipleship. This raises loving each other to the top priority for the church.

But how to practically do that when each of us is so broken and has so much baggage is a hard problem to solve. Many Christians do not know how to have healthy human relationships in any aspect of their lives and so there is little likelihood they will succeed in "loving" Christians at church where they have less connection to than their family and friends. So the failure of the church to be a community of love is easier to understand than when it succeeds.

Now, by the grace of God the church has shown Christ like love to each other. The New Testament believers took care of widows and orphans, made sure that no poor Christian went without food and shelter, overcame the cultural differences between Jew and Gentile with wisdom, and gathered together in a communion of truth and good works (Acts 2:41-47). This would lead to the ancient world commenting on the early church "We are amazed at how they love one another." Therefore, at a practical level, with all the imperfections, the early church did demonstrate substantial love that was recognized by the world. We must always remember to look at the glass half empty and half full when we strive to understand the church. Never perfection only direction.

In my life I have seen Christians love each other in profound ways. I have seen people sacrifice time, money, and life to help others. I have seen the body of
Christ demonstrate real and amazing love towards others and myself. Such times fill my heart with joy even now.

However, it seems that over long periods of time it is hard for Christians to remain in a fellowship or church without this love breaking down. Social politics, personalities, failed dreams, desire for power and control, different opinions, cliques, gossip, judging each other, lack of respect, poor communication, unresolved conflicts, envy, competition, and desire to dominate; all begin to surface more and more, eventually breaking up friendships and fellowships; sometimes in some very ugly ways. It seems hard to establish long term healthy and committed relationships in the body of Christ.

It is hard to do church well. What can we do? We must become aware of how hard it is to really practice love. We need to look for ways we can increase in our love for each other. How are my actions hurting other Christians? In what way am I falling short of loving others as Messiah Jesus loved me? How can we maintain and increase unity with each other? How can we show respect for leaders? How can we give encouragement to followers? How can we do the church well and really love one another? That is one of the greatest challenges of our lives.